just where we are

It's the last week of school. While usually an exciting time, this week is a tough one.

Before the cancer diagnosis, we had planned to be in Spain for two weeks of leadership training and conference meetings. As this gathering only happens every three years, we were eager to see friends with whom we had instantly bonded at the last conference. I was also excited by the fact that as my kiddos are now three years older, instead of breastfeeding a 6 month old in the back of the room, I could attend all the meetings and enjoy some grown-up conversations!

But, instead, we are working to get a refund on our tickets, admire the pictures of the conference on Facebook, prepare for end of school events, take slow walks to try to overcome side effects of chemotherapy, and try to count our blessings.

Yesterday, we gave some good news and some bad news to the kids. Bella had 8 healthy puppies. The timing was not what we had planned and our business plan of selling puppies to save for a vacation are not going to pan out. But there is nothing cuter than lab puppies and I am sure they will make someone happy. The sad news is that since we are delayed in our return and they are not getting good care, we need to find new homes for the dogs. This is plain hard. Lots of tears. Lots of loss. That's all I can say about that.

Days like these, being where we are instead of where we want to be and doing thing we would rather not do, remind me that some days, maybe weeks or month, are just plain hard. And that's ok. I love what the Fort Portal vanilla-farmer, Lulu, once told me: "Some people have the bounce back factor. Things don't work out as they had planned, but they bounce back. Those people are the ones that are going to make it."

I know we are Bounce Back People.

bundi video

Intern Margaret Varina Hart created a video about Bundibugyo.

Simply Beautiful.

http://vimeo.com/66301896

photos from the last month

My beautiful sister Meghan on her wedding day, April 6th

Lilli, an attendant, and I as matron of honor

Aidan...need I say more?!

Patton and his cousin Charlie (with silly Aidan) waiting during the rehearsal

And two days after the wedding, in the pre-op room before surgery

A visit from WHM Missionary Care Leader, Meredith Elder, the day before the first chemotherapy

And Josiah Bancroft, our NC pastor, good friend, and WHM Director of Ministry

And then they sent the "big gun" Bob Osborne, WHM Chief of All

Post Chemo Snuggles on the couch

Proud of our Lillian who is learning the rules to soccer (which are a bit different than "barefoot football in the front yard with a team of 6-14 year old Ugandan neighbors"!)

Patton has proved to be a natural on the field and gives his buddies lots of high fives after goals

And us...

these days

these days are new types of days for all of us.

greetings at 6am by surgeons who check progress or lack of progress
hooking and unhooking and hooking up to the iv machine in order to move in and out of bed
walking slowly down the hall, pushing the iv pole, joining in the parade of post surgery patients
picking up mimi from the airport who has come to be stability and softness for our kids
praying for patients who are all alone in their rooms
greeting the therapy dog "sid"and chatting with the vet lady who brings happiness to patients
watching travis consume only half a cup of jello in 4 days time
being prayed over again and again by faithful pastors who love us dearly
bringing down the average age of patients on this hall by 25-30 years
changing of the guard with mom j when i need to go and be a mom myself
watching nate and t together, brothers through thick and thin
driving to soccer practice and dental appointments
being so thankful for meals brought by dear friends and chef bob
sitting next to travis, reading psalms when he is in too much pain to talk
thankful for the ng tube that is pulling out liquids from his stomach that were causing so much pain
trying to watch "downton abbey" but realizing that we have enough drama to fill a room
hugging the kiddos in a 5 minute visit that brought cheer and stability to family life
filling up a wall with pictures and cards
changing of nurses and techs who continue to be helpful and cheerful
enjoying treats from thoughtful friends
napping to make up for interrupted and uncomfortable sleep
waiting for pathology results 
waiting for digestive systems to work together
waiting for healing from surgery
praying together, resting together, thanking together

meet us in the recovery room

It would be a joy to have the faces of those that love him and are praying for him to be smiling on him in his recovery room. Please email a picture, be it silly, traditional, or just smiling to photosfortravis@gmail.com

We will print them out so that as he is recovering, he will see YOU!

If you would like to send him cards, music, or dvds for the week of recovery in the hospital, you can mail it to 250 Island Park Circle, Unit 102, Daniel Island, SC 29492.

Thank you, dear friends.

out of surgery...praise God!

Travis is out of surgery and now recovering in his hospital room. He is not very comfortable but he is alive and for that we are so thankful.

When I received the phone call from the nurse that said that the three hour surgery was over and Travis was "okay" a wave of relief washed over me. I think I had been holding my breath for three hours. How grateful we are for the work of the surgeons and nurses, for the prayers of the saints, and for the quiet and cleanliness of this room. We now wait for the results of the biopsy which will help determine what lies ahead in terms of treatment.

My mom once told me that the sweetest sound to a wife's ear is the snoring of her husband in the bed next to her...a sound widows miss the most. When Travis was in surgery, he was laying with his feet higher in elevation than his head as they pushed air into his colon. That air is now needing to come out. I have to say that those burps are the sweetest sound to my ears!

unpacking

I finally did it. I had been stumbling over a packed suitcase for a week. I finally unpacked it, putting away clean clothes from a trip never taken.

Many months ago, we planned a trip to the WHM Sending Center in Pennsylvania for meetings, reconnecting, and conversations about our second term as missionaries. A detailed schedule was filled in for who was picking up the children, what after school programs they would attend, and all the other stuff moms do when leaving their children in the care of others for five days.

Travis had been experiencing pain and other unfriendly symptoms since his strange and extreme African fever illness. As the symptoms had only increased with medication, it was time for a colonoscopy. We joked that the GI specialist would probably see thousands of little African parasites doing the Conga Line or maybe Travis would win an award for the longest tapeworm brought to America.

But after we met with the radiologist and heard back from the pathologist, all jokes ended and our plans for that trip to PA ended. Cancer has a way of doing that.

Unraveling. Unpacking. Unnerving. Unplanning. Undoing.

So, I find myself undoing lots of things. And find myself doing things I would not have expected.

Undoing the packaging for eyecream as the crying-eyes-puffiness will not go away

Canceling flights, car rental, accommodation and registration for the halfmarathon we so doggedly wanted to do...to prove that we still could.

Begging for a refund on a nonrefundable purchase of a vacation for just the two of us that we had dreamed about for 3 years now.

Being hugged by people I don’t know but know us, sometimes comforted, sometimes made uncomfortable

Fumbling to answer the question of “how are you?” as an acquaintance in passing asks

Confused by the severity of the treatment options when the tumor looks so small to me

Listening to the prayers of our sweet children who pray for Daddy to be better

Receiving clothes hangers from our friends who are, ironically, moving to Africa so we can take our clothes out of boxes and settle in a little more.

Chasing after our AfricanSoul Daughter who ran away in tears when she learned we will be delayed in returning to Bundibugyo

Amazed by the offer of a meal by a new friend who must listen well to the prompting of the Holy Spirit on the very day we met with doctors for the diagnosis

Humbled that a family member would come over and clean our condo while we were meeting with surgeons

Talking with current teammates and future teammates who are also adjusting their expectations

Eating healthy food and wondering if it is healthy enough

Trying not to be overwhelmed by the “what ifs” that can be loud in the day and whisper in the dark of the night.

Finally putting our mattress that has been on the floor up on a bedframe as it will be easier for future recovery

Sweetly surprised by a package of “home decor” that a friend thoughtfully mailed to give us one thing in our condo that is not borrowed or donated

Amazed for a good night’s sleep and grateful that someone prayed that we would supernaturally be able to rest.

Sobered by the lady’s bald head as we get on the elevator to our first appointment with the cancer surgeon.

Encouraged by the many emails that we have received from friends near and far, reminded that we are certainly surrounded by a loving circle

Startled by the intensity of song lyrics and sermons and readings, how they seem to apply to us so dearly, so pointedly reminding us that God is still good and He does love us deeply

Touched by the kindness of a new friend who wants to pay for karate class for Patton

Confused in the timing of it all as we simultaneously prepare for cancer surgery and my youngest sister’s wedding

Hugged by my other sister who came with her kids for a weekend, just to be close to me, just so I could cry over a cup of coffee and not have to explain the tears

Unwrapping a box of chocolates mailed to us by a longtime supporter of all things Bundi

Finding comfort in the words of the Psalms and gaining perspective on true suffering from the book “The Insanity of God”

Waiting and waiting and waiting to hear back test results that will determine the type of surgery and asking God to use even the process of waiting to teach us and remind me that control is just an illusion

Praying with others for healing and courage and for wisdom, both for today and in the days to come

 If you want to join us in prayer for Travis, you can “subscribe” on the top right hand corner to be included in an update email.