You are an expert in slaloming your car through 2 feet deep potholes.
You time how long it takes you change a flat tire and try to beat yesterday’s record.
Your kids bedtime routine includes taking malaria medicine.
Grown men hail your children as fearless because they hold chameleons.
You break for monkeys- sometimes to see them, sometimes to swerve and miss them.
ROUS’s (Rodents of Unusual Size) are real and provide a challenge to ones manhood.
Fast food means slowing down at a village and buying sticks of meat thrust through your window.
You type blogs by candlelight not because it is romantic but because the power is out.
You make enchiladas with chipattis.
You eat a samosa with “chips” instead of a burger and fries.
Your child can identify a warthog before a pig.
Your five year old daughter asks for a sling shot for her birthday.
Your three year old son raises his eye brows instead of saying yes.
You even negotiate prices at the “Walmart” in Kampala.
5 dollars seems a lot for a meal but you will pay it in a heart beat for a good scoop of ice cream.
Your 9 month old says hello by raising both hands high in the air waving them back and forth
You read the “Wilderking” series (highly recommend) to your kids and they recognize characters around you and believe that you live in the Feichifen.
Your son asks for M&Ms with G-nuts.
Your daughter asks as you cross over the equator why it is not hotter at the center of the earth. You have to explain why .5 degrees latitude is not that much different and it is definitely hot enough.
Your children rejoice in tepid showers because they are not as cold as the “waterfall” showers we have at home.
You call your shower at home a waterfall because the water is piped from a local waterfall, it somehow makes the coldness more bearable.
You hire seven men to slash on the property just so they can pay school fees and hospital bills.
You son practices “slashing” the grass with a wooden machete.
You bring your children home “early” from the church service after two hours and the sermon has not yet started.
You pray before you put your card in the ATM hoping it will give back money.
Your dog chews on avocados he finds in your back yard.
Buying three carts of groceries seems normal. Paper or plastic is not referring to the bag but the boxes you are packing it in.
Fixing lawnmowers, treating cows, working on house wiring and plumbing and treating patients in your front yard all happen before you start your work day.
You have dear friends that wait for you at your katubi to greet you when you return from a week long trip.
You children cheer when you drive into the village that you are home!